Well, those of you who are regular visitors to my website probably wondered what cliff I fell off of. I was always encouraged when some would say, "You need to update your blog!" Well, here's to a start of a new year, new website, new blog! Of course, the old stories will still be on there but the new website will now host all the entries. It is under construction right now but should be up soon. As a good sum up, I decided that this entry will be our 2008 catch up letter. Stay tuned for more to come.

2008 was probably the most difficult year the Hoffland family has had to date. There were a number of trials that we didn’t see coming but as darker the storms are, God’s light seems to shine even brighter.

HOME: TRIALS AND PRAISES

1. As many of you know, our eldest son, David (10) is on the autistic spectrum along with having some Obsessive Compulsive disorders. He is a very creative, delightful child but for most of 2008 he had fallen into a black hole in his mind which left him terrified and, for the most part, non-functional. After many very intense battles, mentally physically and spiritually, we are on the upswing and David is back! We are so thankful for the Camp Forest Springs staff and the folks of Woodland Community Church for their love and support and for those of you who prayed for us throughout the year.

2. One early morning in January at about 2:30 AM Tarah and I woke up to find smoke in our house. We found out it was our 40 year old furnace that was dying a slow death. We nursed it for a few more weeks until it finally died right before the coldest weekend last winter. The local heating and cooling guy was able to have a new steam unit installed the next day and God eventually provided the money for to pay for it.

3. I was on the road one weekend in February ministering in Iowa and western Wisconsin when I received a call from my wife one evening that the sewer had backed up into the basement. Some of the staff men came over with a snake to try to fix it with no avail. The same day our youngest daughter, Leah, was being admitted into the hospital for pneumonia. The sewer pipes got fixed and so did my daughter.

4. This Fall, our garage door split in two. (Fiberglass door) Again God provided the funds and a friend to help me install a new one.

5. This summer, our 3 oldest kids played on the same T-Ball team in Rib Lake. They had a winning record!
6. David and Johnny both attended Youth Camp this summer at Camp Forest Springs. They had a great time.

7. I am thankful for my wife who continues to take on the challenge of schooling our children from home. This year Johnny and David have started doing the Virtual Academy which is a charter school based out of Medford, WI. They still school at home but they do certain things on-line and take their tests at a different location. It has really been a great option and has helped out Tarah a lot.


MINISTRY:

MINISTRY ON THE ROAD:

I had many great opportunities for ministry this year throughout the Midwest. I had 26 programs at the following locations (concerts and speaking).

Curits, IA- speaking and music
Whitehall, WI- concert
Chilton, WI- concert
Wisconsin Rapids, WI- concert
Rochester, MN- concert
Embarrass, MN- concert
Eau Claire, WI- speaking
Platteville, WI- concert/worship leading
Grandview, IA- speaking and music
Medford, WI- concert
Mason, WI- concert
Iron Mountain, MI- concert/speaking
St. Louis, MO- Family Camp speaker and worship leader
Grand Rapids, MN- Youth Retreat Speaker/worship leader
Hogarty, WI- concert

MINISTRY AT CAMP FOREST SPRINGS:
Winter Family Camp- worship leader
Ladies Retreat- worship leader
TAKE 7- worship leader
Junior High Camp – speaker and worship leader
SUPERhigh- worship leader
9 Family Camps- worship leader
Ladies Day-worship leader
Colorama (Sr. Citizens)- worship leader
Pastor’s Retreat- worship leader
Dinner Theatre- writer, director, actor
Wintertainment- worship leader

The Dinner Theatre Outreach that is listed above has become a more greater and challenging endeavor than I could have ever imagined. The philosophy of the Dinner Theatre was to use Camp’s environment and provide an attractive program to share the Gospel to those in our local community and to improve the relationship between Camp and the community. After doing the same program for 2 years in a row, the Camp staff felt it needful to do a new one. I took it upon myself to write it and I started the process in March. The concept was the relationship between light and dark using the way we put up lights at Christmas to ward off the darkness as a platform. The task was daunting and took many more hours than I had planned, but God’s hand was on it and He brought many along side to help execute it. He also taught us many important truths throughout the journey including not being afraid of the darkness. We used the title, “The Light Before Christmas.” We were surprisingly sold out a week before Thanksgiving and we added one more showing. Many of the people that came were folks that I had never seen before. It was very rewarding to have many people say that it would be a yearly tradition for them to come. I am hoping to publish it this year. The end of the program included a glowing manger while I sang a song I wrote for the production. As people left, we handed everyone a free CD copy of the song as a farewell. Tarah and I felt led to include a copy of it along with this letter to hopefully minister to you and to thank you for all that you do for us.

Another note of interest is that I have started the process of recording a new CD project. I have hired an arranger and I am praying and hoping to have it done by next summer.

PRAYER REQUESTS:

1. I have a 1998 SUV that I use for traveling with my equipment that has been a huge blessing. It was a donation to me a few years ago at just the right time. The 4 wheel drive has gotten me out of some very bad weather situations. However, it is close to crossing 200 thousand miles and is starting to show it’s age. I am praying that God will, in His time, provide another vehicle to do the ministry I need to do.
2. Continue to pray for wisdom as we try to help our son, David.
3. Pray for all of our kids that they may all be saved and continue to grow in Christ.
4. Pray for wisdom and guidance as I write another Dinner Theatre program for next year.
5. Pray that Tarah can be encouraged as she schools the children.
6. Pray for the provided funds to finish the CD by June.

E.R.

Summer has now officially ended as far as Camp Forest Springs is concerned. Labor Day marks the last day of Family Camps and the beginning of my vacation. Of course, as soon as I get home, 4 of us Hofflands, including myself, come down with a high fever. I guess God's timing is good. He knew I would have time to rest. Today marks day 3 of the 101 degree temps for all except Anna who flared up even higher this afternoon accompanied with bad abdominal and chest pain. Well, there were no appointments open at the normal clinic with our usual physician so we had to go to the...... "walk-in clinic." Those of you who are too familiar with this word know the eerie vocal inflections that I use when I write it. (if that's possible) Bless the hearts of those that work at the ...."walk-in clinic" because they are the ones that work the hours no-one else wants to work. Regardless of how nice the folk are that work there, it can be a long endeavor but humorous when telling later to my wife. Yes, I am the one who volunteered to take my little buttercup to the clinic thinking it would be a simple exam, a prescription and on we go. Well, we entered a little room with a door on the East and West walls where Anna had her temp taken and was weighed. Now her temp was up to 103.8. Yeesh. Of course this triggers the folk at the "w.i.c." to admit her to the E.R. which is actually just the next room. So we go through the other door into another small room. There we sit on a couple of cold chairs while I watch my 5 year old daughter shiver and shake and look like death. She is rather dramatic but I know that she is not needing to add much at this point. In this room there are 2 doors as well. The one we just came through which is on the East wall and the other one on the West wall. Both are closed. However the door on the West wall is the one that we will watch with great anticipation and angst. The doctor comes in rather promptly and begins to examine little Anna. He seems to be in a hurry which signals me that he'll get down to business, we'll get her some medicine and we'll be on our way. He notices that her throat looks rather red so he decides to take a strep culture. There are 2 kinds of strep tests. (We Hofflands tend to get Strep a lot) The full culture test that takes at least 24 hours and the rapid test that takes about 10 minutes. No problem. So the doctor proceeds to swab Anna's throat. Of course she calmly complies while gagging profusely and flailing her hands in the air. I was expecting the doctor to ask her "Is it safe?" (Laurence Olivier- Marathon Man) Off they go with the West door shutting. Anna asks me, "Why did they do the choky thing?" I explain to her about the test and what they are doing with the swab that they scraped her throat with. She seems ok with it but continues to ask me with fear and trepidation, "Daddy, do I have to get a shot?"

"No, Anna. Not today. I don't think so. Probably just some medicine, that all." Thinking that there would be no need for a shot.

I give her some Children's Tylenol to help her fever.

About 20-25 minutes later the doctor comes back in and says that the rapid test was negative but that they want to run a blood and urine test on her just to make sure.

"Sure, no problem." I say thinking more about the quick urine sample and not much about the blood test.

Anna asks me, "What're are they going to do."

"They're going to have you pee in a cup."

"What?" (giggling) "When? I want to do that. David and Johnny will think that is funny. When am I going to do that?"

"Soon."

So after hearing about how badly she wants to pee in a cup for 20 minutes, in comes a lab technician pushing a tray full of little tubes and needles.

I had forgotten about the blood test.

"Um, Anna....remember that part about not getting a shot?"

Her eyes get big and taut. "Whimper..."

So after the WWE brawl, we get the test done and the Dora Dora bandage on.


It only took about 5 minutes when the nurse came in again to ask for the urine sample. Anna had just gone before we arrived so there so wasn't much left on tap.

With all bodily fluids sampled and offered, the door closes again.


A half hour goes by.

Anna's fever is starting to drop and she is looking better physically. But the long wait in the little sterile room is starting to mess with her mind and she starts babbling.

"Daddy, I want to Flooba dooba farber daba."

I dare to open the door and peek out. I see a man sitting behind a desk.

"How long till the tests come back?"

"Oh, we're waiting for one more."

"Ok. Thanks." I shut the door and sit back down.

We wait for about 10 more minutes. There is a window right next to the West door but the blinds are shut on them. I bend my neck and try to get a glimpse between the slits. My conspiracy side is starting to conjure up images of them all talking to each other about how long they think it will take for me to open the door again.

My will is not that strong. I open the door again.

This time I say nothing as I see the doctor is there at the desk facing the man I had talked to before. They finally make eye contact with me and realize that they were mistaken and that the test they have been waiting for had come back.

"We'll be right in with those." they inform me.

I close the door and sit down.

"How long are we going to be here, Daddy?... Doogie Floogie flapper doodle."

We're going to need a therapist after this visit.

The doctor comes in and lets me know that the Blood count was normal but there were a few "puss-cells" in her urine.

"Puss-cells?" I ask.

"Yes. So we're going to have the lab run a deeper culture on her urine. In the meantime we are going to put her on an anti-biotic and send you on your way."

"Great! Thank you." Door closes. "Well, Anna we're going to get to go soon. Just hang in there.

Another half an hour goes by.

Again, I'm peeking through the blinds. How far did they have to go do get an antibiotic? Were they growing the mold as we waited?

Anna's eyes are now crossed and she's chewing on her toes.

I open the door.

There is the same man sitting behind the desk along the the original nurse but now a new lady standing in front of the desk. The man makes eye contact with me again. "Can we help you?"

"Yeah, um..are we waiting for the prescription? or....."

The new lady spins around and immediately I get an image of Nurse Ratchet from One Flew over The Cukoo's Nest.

Speaking to me as if I was on Romper Room, "They are getting the instructions."

"Ok." I shut the door.

I sit back down. My mind can't decide whether to be perturbed by the fact that the older I get, the more doctors and nurses speak to me as if I were in diapers, or the fact that it takes a half an hour to find the instruction manual for a medicine that I found out later they keep on their shelf all the time.

10 minutes later the original nurse walks in. She has the medicine and the instructions. As she starts to tell them to me I can't help but to inquire about the infamous "puss-cells" they found in my daughters 2 ounces of urine which is why we ended up staying for another hour. I regretted my question quickly as she went into a disertation about vaginal folds and the bacteria that live there.

So finally, we have the medicine, we have the prescription, we have everything we need. We're about to get up to leave when my daughter pipes up with...

"Daddy, do they have any stickers?"

"Sure." The nurse says and she starts heading for the door. It was like slow motion when it closed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo." my mind screams as I hear the click of it shutting.

We wait only 2 minutes this time and I open the door again. Of course as soon as I do, the East door, behind me, opens with the same nurse, stickers in hand and a scolding look on her face as I stand there with the West door ajar. It was almost like she ran around the hall, on-purpose, just to come in the other way just to catch me.

"Um..it's just that when this door closes...um.(stumble, stumble)"

Anna thanks her and takes the stickers.

I don't think I ever walked out of the doctor's faster than I did this evening.

It's going to be a long while before I buckle into going into the...

(thunder clap, lightning)

..."walk-in clinic."

Summer Updates

Thanks to all of you who check this on a regular basis for your patience. Blogs are like exercise. The spirit is willing but the flesh is usually weak. Since both are willing today, here goes with the updates.

1. This summer has been full but good. Johnny joined the world of T-Ball this summer and had a great time. I'm not sure if the "great" part was actually playing the game or eating stuff from the concession stand and playing with grasshoppers. Hopefully we will be able to work on his skills more before next year. The undefeated season probably has something to do with the fact that Rib Lake seems to breed base-ball players. There were some very gifted 7 year olds out on that field.

2. Youth Camps ended about a week ago and I have to say that God did some amazing things this summer. I had the privilege of being the speaker for the Jr. High week and I had a blast! The thrill of having Jr. Highers come up to you at the end of a week of camp and say "Thank You..I know God now because of you" doesn't compare to anything else. During the last 2 weeks of Camp, there was an opportunity given for campers to not only seek forgiveness from others but to forgive others from the past that have hurt them. The Holy Spirit definitely moved throughout the Camp bringing a spirit of tenderness that was just amazing. During Superhigh week, alone, there were 35 decisions for Jesus whether for salvation or dedication of their lives to Him.

3. Our Family Camp theme this summer is WANTED: DEAD AND ALIVE. The theme is based on the book of James. The kids classes are built around the GOOD-NUF GANG where their leader is Brother James. Here is a pic of one of the wanted posters.

The members of the gang all have characteristics of spiritual flaws from the Book of James: Tommy Tenderfoot, Skuzzy Scully, Two-faced Tex, Hasty Hal, Lazy Leonard and Boasting Bart.

The challenge of James is for a believer to look at their life and to see if their works match the faith they say they have.

4. On the family front, we have a 7th member to our clan. Betty the Black Lab joined us in February. She has been a great addition except for the fact that she brings half decomposed deer heads home and drops them on our back porch.

5. The big change for Tarah's family happened in June. Her parents moved to Seoul, Korea in June where her dad will be the interim pastor for an english speaking church and her mom will teach in the Christian school where her brother is a chaplain at. Also, her sister moved to London for work which leaves Tarah as the only one left here in the states.

6. God has been teaching me, again, how important it is to be in His Word every day. I've have made a mid-year resolution that I am going to try to read through the Bible in 1 1/2 years. Also, I am looking into getting some more Biblical training to help sharpen my skills as a speaker and communicator. I may possibly be starting this in the Spring of 08.

7. For those of you that have been wondering, I am planning on recording another CD, hopefully this Fall. Please pray for the preparation of that along with finances that are needed.

8. We had the joy of having Tarah's brother, John, here with his family for a few days. Here is a picture of the cousins along with our kids. (Our kids are on the right, Anna, Leah, Johnny and David. The other 2 on the right are Charis and Alathea.)


9. Summers are always a great time of reunions. Family, Campers, and old friends. Kroek, if you're out there, it was great seeing you and your family. Can't wait for another cup of Hoffee at Camp 28.

My Wife!

My sister-in-law is moving to London so my wife wanted to go visit her before she left, leaving me with the kids for almost 2 days. I tell you something...I don't know how she does it. I don't know how she handles 4 kids and on top of that..homeschool them as well. Now, she is more used to it then I am. But, Holy Cow! And on top of that, I had the 3 neighbor kids over for some of the day as well. The sound of numerous kids babbling in your ear all day wanting...SOMETHING...no wonder my parents had brain damage. I gave it to them. (don't tell them I said that.)


Anyways, the point of this is that I think my wife is amazing.

I'm baaaaaaack

A lot to write that should of been written months ago. I am encouraged by those who actually look for the new posts. For those who have, (Johnny, Kroek), "aww dude, sorry."

Let's just put first things first. Me. Yeah. I've been putting me first quite a bit lately. At least I feel like I have. My wife...she is amazing. She just going and going with a whiny 17 month old hanging on her leg. And me? Move over Houdini, here comes "Hoffini" the King of escape artists. To my office..to the hardware store...to the bank...out for lunch.... anywhere I can escape the whiners, the needers, the wanters, the clingers, etc... O.K...I know if my wife reads this she would think I was being too hard on myself. Well, I hope she thinks that. No. It doesn't matter what others think. The Lord is the one who taps me on the shoulder of my heart and says, "Hey, buddy. Your missing out." He did that tonight. Lord have mercy.

On to other things. Here are the highlights from the last 4 1/2 months.

1. Tales from the Christmas Tree Lot went over very well. We had a sold out crowd and people seemed ecstatic as they left. One interesting fact about the event was we had people come that have lived within a 5 mile radius of Camp that have never set foot on the property before! The Gospel was clearly given amongst trappings of Charles Schultz and Dr. Seuss.

2. My family flew with me to Texas for a 2 week adventure in the middle of February! I was asked to speak and lead worship for 2 Father/Son Retreats that were held at Frontier Camp in Grapeland, TX. What an amazing blessing that was.

3. Some other friends and I planned a Valentines Banquet/Outreach for our community which was hosted my our local church. It started with Bobby Darin and ended with The 3 Stooges. Go figure.

4. Myself and a friend/co-worker were able to have dinner with another friend that I hadn't seen in about 9 years. That was cool.

5. Leah is walking and saying words we can't understand

6. We have a dog. Black Lab. Named Betty. Any songs come to mind?

7. I met with a guy in the twin cities that may be interested in recording my next CD. Now it's a matter of songs and money. Maybe I should write a song about money.

8. I took my oldest son, David, to the eye doctor for his first ever eye exam.
"Now, David, cover your left eye and read the bottom row."

"Egellbaqerjeffedd..."

"No, just say the letters.

"Oh. E G L B Q R....."


Well, that's enough for now. I need to stop because I'm typing in bed and my toddler daughter is about to awaken. I can't be up with the light on if that happens because she will see me and want to stay up and then no one will be able to sleep.

I guess then I'll just blame President Bush.

Dependency..a dirty word?

Since my last post I have 1. shaved my head, 2. celebrated my 4th child's first birthday and 3. helped to create stars indoors. The latter is for a Christmas dinner theater that Camp is doing in December. Of all 3 things listed, that one has obviously taken the most time out of my life. I've been enjoying it though. It is designed to be an outreach event for the local community. The 2nd on the list has made me feel joyful and old. Joyful to see the personality start forming in my little princess and old because..well...I feel tired. To some you reading, 35 is not old at all. It's all perspective.. When you view yourself as a college student inside, 35 startsfeeling old. My mom noticed that there is gray in my goatee. Of course my bald head doesn't help any which leads to number 1. I decided to shave my head. I'm not sure why but my wife likes it. My kids didn't know what to think, especially David. He's not too keen on change. Anyways, that's the fall excitement for now.

There have been many times I have thought about writing on this blog but my thoughts never seemed coherent enough to put into words. I'm been very much into "redeeming the time" as much as I can so when I do write, I want it to have more meaning than the trivial events of my life. I guess that the thing that's been on my mind the most lately is the subject of relationships. It seems the older we get we value relationships more but at the same time, we tend to close ourselves off. It's quite an oxymoron. Even in ministry, we want to have friends and make an impact on people, but we almost want to do that without investing and the vulnerability. Ministering from the stage can be a safe place because I can sing and leave. Related to this thought, I have also recently been pursuing more of the knowledge of God..the truth of God..the clinical stuff. However, in one of the books I have been reading, Knowledge of the Holy by AW Tozer, he says that all the knowledge in the world will not matter without a relationship as a foundation. Isn't that interesting. I have to be not only vulnerable with people but with God as well. So many times we replace that "God - relationship" with the doing, especially us men. We learn the right answers. We stand strong on principle. We cling to the truths of God. But we are scared and sometimes lazy when it comes to relating to our Abba. (Daddy) That's right. He is my dad. We teach our children from a young age to learn how to be independent. We want them to be able to stand on their own two feet. America applauds this mindset. Dependency is a bad word. It's a weak word. However, as we look at Scripture, the word dependency is of the utmost importance. Yes, that's right. God basically wants to strip our independence away in order to be dependent on Him. We have no idea, most of the time, how much we need God. We even need Him for our own Faith. (Heb 12:1-2) It says that He is the "author" of our faith. The more I grow into manhood, (oh, yes. I'm still growing into it) the more my nature is to not pray and to not be humble. My kids need to see their dad dependent. They need to see him humble. They need to see his weakness.

And they need to see how Great and Dependable his God is.

"Oh we are not as strong as we think we are."
Rich Mullins

What can I give Jesus?

The other day, my 6 year old, Johnny, said to me, "Daddy, on Jesus's birthday, I want to give Him something special. What can I give Him?"

"Well, I have an idea, but I will have to tell you later." (since I was on my way to work.

"I know what you're going to say! You're going to say, give Him a Bible!"

"No..."

"I know! I know! You're going to say write a nice story about Him!"

"Not exactly.. Johnny do you know what the most special thing you can give Jesus is? It's you."

"What? I can't go up there?"

"No. You don't have to. You can just say to Him that you will be willing to go where He wants you to go and do what He wants you to do...for the rest of your life."

"But Dad, I'm nothing special."

"Oh, Johnny, you have no idea how special you are. Why don't you go tell mom about what we've been talking about and let her explain it some more." (since I was late for work)

Later, after I arrived home, I asked Tarah what Johnny had said to her.

She replied, "You know it was kind of strange. He walked in the kitchen and said that I needed to wrap him."

all other ground is sinking sand

Insecurity. There are not many words that project negative feelings more than this one. We all battle it to some degree and the ways we battle it can be quite interesting. Some battle it by trying to attain money, others, with people and relationships. All of this attaining is in an attempt to fill that haunting void in the soul that "just doesn't sit right." There is a strong correlation between insecurity and identity. Some like the identity of being an athlete. I had this for a while in high school. My brother and I were wrestlers and so I lifted weights and wore clothes that gave me that identity. Later on, I became heavily involved with music and acting. The "artist" identity then took form and I did the appropriate things in order to portray that person. It wasn't that what I was doing did not have merit, it's that who I was was found in what I did. For others they might find it in a job or a business or even family. Many find their worth in parenting children. But soon, the children are gone and moved away and they are stuck with an empty soul. So, this raises the big question. What makes a person truly secure? Where does a person find his or her true identity? In my last post I referred to Ravi Zacharias talking about foundations. The word foundation is a strong word. It exemplifies strength, stability and security. When my wife and I went lookng for houses to buy the biggest question that loved ones asked us was "How is the foundation?" You see, mostly everything else can be fixed or replaced, but if the foundation is bad, the rest will be too. A building cannot stand the test of time without a good foundation. There is security in a good foundation. Scripture talks about Jesus being the cornerstone of a great foundation. He tells a parable about a wise man who built his house upon the rock. When the storms came, the house stood firm. In my life, God has tenderly stripped away the loose, unstable foundations. It hasn't been an easy pain-free journey and it's not necessarily over. When I was 17, my father was killed in a fire accident. Yesterday was the anniversary of his death. Now, as a parent of 4 kids, it is so important for me to keep building on a foundation that will not die, will not go off to school, will not be overlooked because of some new, young employee. My idenitity can only be found in Christ. There is no other rock. So what is my identity? I am God's son whom He made for a purpose to do what He wants me to do. I am a join-heir with Jesus, Himself. After that I am a husband and a father. After that, it's not all that important what I am.

My hope is built on nothing less
then Jesus blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus name.

On Christ the solid Rock I stand
all other ground is sinking sand
all other ground is sinking sand.

Good, good, good, good foundations..

1. "You see, postmodernism plays word games with us. Postmodernism tells us there’s no such thing as truth; no such thing as meaning; no such thing as certainty. I remember lecturing at Ohio State University, one of the largest universities in this country. I was minutes away from beginning my lecture, and my host was driving me past a new building called the Wexner Center for the Performing Arts. He said, “This is America’s first postmodern building.” I was startled for a moment and I said, “What is a postmodern building?” He said, “Well, the architect said that he designed this building with no design in mind. When the architect was asked, ‘Why?’ he said, ‘If life itself is capricious, why should our buildings have any design and any meaning?’ So he has pillars that have no purpose. He has stairways that go nowhere. He has a senseless building built and somebody has paid for it.” I said, “So his argument was that if life has no purpose and design, why should the building have any design?” He said, “That is correct.” I said, “Did he do the same with the foundation?” All of a sudden there was silence. You see, you and I can fool with the infrastructure as much as we would like, but we dare not fool with the foundation because it will call our bluff in a hurry. "

The following is from Ravi Zacharias as he addressed the United Nations in 2002 at a prayer breakfast. If you want to read the rest go to www.rzim.com an click on resources. It's good stuff.

VACATION!!

Can you spell adventure? You can't unless you taken 4 kids, 7 and under, on a road trip. We're into day 3 of 8 and I can still see in color. Actually, it hasn't been that bad. We spent 2 days in Chicago and took the kids to the children's museum and I took the boys to the top of the Sears tower. They all had a blast but hit their walls by about 7:00 pm. When 4 little ones hit their walls, you desire their beds to be not far away. The only real negative so far is that 4 of us have been sick with some sort of nasty cough. Yesterday, on our drive to Dayton, OH, we gave our 6 year old, Johnny, some cough syrup. 1 hr later, he was throwing it up. Praise the Lord, my wife caught it all in a BIG SLURPY cup. (Sorry for the graphic nature) There have been some really good moments as well. The other night I was tucking my 3 yr old daughter, Anna, into bed and was telling her how good of a girl she had been so far. I kissed her on the cheek and she told me that she wasn't going to wipe it off. How cool is that?

I'm sure I'll have more posts about this vacation as we go. I had to capture some of these precious memories while I had the moment to do so.

I Can See!

There are moments in life that aren't very pleasant (excrutiating) but they seem to place all things in their proper perspective.

My wife has recently been fighting some kind of virus. Following a trip to the doctor and a few blood tests, we had an evening we did not plan on having. One test came back with a low white blood cell count and they wouldn't give us the results right away on the other. The PA said that an oncologist was looking at it and that they would let us know within the week. My wife called another aquaintance in the medical field and they were concerned with the low white blood cell count. To get the the crux, the word Leukemia came up.

Since then, we have found the blood tests to be fine and that Tarah just has a virus she is fighting. However, those 20 hours of the unknown are not something I want to repeat for a long time if ever. I mentioned in the first sentence how proper perspective was gained. Let me list what I saw.

1. My wife is precious to me..a gift from God, Himself, that I should never take for granted.
2. I am not in control and I am ultimately helpless without God.
3. I don't deserve the good things I have and God, at any time, could take them away and be withing His full rights. What I do have is His mercy in which I clung to very much during those hours.
4. The dying lawn, the cluttered office, my usual concerns, held no power over my life. Only my loved ones mattered.

Today, the day after, I was out trying to rescue my lawn. I was bagging leaf and needle piles that had been raked 2 weeks ago. Of course the grass was dead under those piles. My kids were playing around me and wanted to help, play, etcc..... but I was too busy "saving the grass!"
So quickly I forget. However, it didn't take me long to get a grip.

Moral of this story, embrace those things that are eternal and half-heartedly twiddle with the rest when time allows.

Smatterings

I'm back. Been a while, I know. Let me tell you..with 4 chitlins, a cluttered garage, a dying lawn, a tired wife...my blog doesn't make it too high on the priority list. But, tonight, I'm in the blogging mood. Time to catch you up on what's been going down. The following is going to be a complete smattering with no cohesive nature to any of it. Hope you can make sense of these snapshots.


1. Recently, I have been doing a Bible Study related to the tabernacle from the Old Testament. It's been a very rich study as it draws out the types of Jesus in the applications of this ancient facility. For example, the oil used to light the lampstand in the Most Holy Place, was taken from crushed olives. As Jesus prayed in the garden of Gesthemane, He was so distraught, he sweated drops of blood. Gesthamane, which was found, geographically on the Mt. of Olives, actually means "crushed olive." Little nuggets like that in addition to the personal application make it worth studying such a rich subject.

2. A few weeks ago, I was shocked when one of my good friends that I've known for almost 10 years confessed to me that he was gay.

I was not ready for it.

I have sinced realized that I need to be ready. My friend needed me to be ready. We live in a culture where the family unit is deteriorating and as a result we will have more people completely confused with their sexual identity. We..I need to be ready to minister to these people that struggle with this issue.

3. We have prayed and saved and last week God provided us with a mini van. I know this is a blessing but, since our old one was on life support, it really "feels" like a blessing as well.

4. My 2 boys had their training wheels taken off of their bikes yesterday. They needed no help after that. They just took off down the street feeling like Batman and Superman with the wind at their backs and smiles on their faces.

5. Last summer, a good friend who is a pastor asked me 3 questions about God in dealing with fear.

1. Is God Soveriegn? If 'yes' then....
2. Is God good? If 'yes' then....
3. Is God good to you (me)?

Usually the first 2 are definite yes's but that last one..that's the clincher, isn't it. I do believe that, yes, He is good to me..all the time. It made this post because I have found myself asking these questions to others lately.

6. I have become more convicted recently that I need to not only embrace LOVE as a virtue but also TRUTH. And, as I have mentioned before in recent blogs, you really cannot have one without the other. I find that this world truly embraces LOVE...in all it's forms. I believe in tolerance of people but not in tolerance of all ideas and philosophies. I have no tolerance for lies. The church needs to consistenlty be bringing these 2 words together.

7. I had a couple of concerts Easter week in Allentown, PA. The pastor at the church there, Howard Lawler, is a friend and a brother-in-law to a fellow co-worker at the Camp I work at. I really enjoyed my time there with him and his family. He, his son and myself, took a day and went to visit the battlefields at Gettysburg. My two tour guides are so entrenched with the subject of the Civil War that the place practically felt like home to them. The education was so rich, I should of gotten credit. What a sobering journey to walk the fields and the hills where so many died 140 years ago. It brought reality to the Civil War and made it ascend to being more than a story in a history book.

Well, there you have it. My last month and half in a nutshell. Hope you can digest it.

Counting all things...LOSS

Last night I attended a Navigator's meeting at the UW Eau Claire campus with Garrett, a fellow staff member. The Navigator speaker, Norm Hubbard, was preaching on Phillipians 3:7 in which Paul talks about all things being considered loss in comparison to knowing Christ Jesus. "All things" meaning anything that we can tend to put our confidence in besides Christ. As we were driving home we were reflecting on the topic. I was trying to think about things that I put my confidence in besides Christ. I was having a hard time coming up with some. Not that I have arrived because I know that there are times where my insecurities drive me to find something to grab a hold of, but I found the thought exhausting. The older I get, the more kids I accumulate, the more I feel tired even thinking of having confidence in anything but Jesus. Confidence in something equates finding our identity in that something and in order to do that, you have to be good at it. That takes ambition and I have found myself very much void of ambition lately. I did a Bible study some time back that focused on the character of the Apostle John. The author of the study was reflecting on how John, who seemed to be a star disciple, basically fell off the face of the earth after Paul came on the scene. We finally hear from in his letters 1,2, and 3 John. Scholars specualte that he was rather old when he wrote these. The study made the observation that even though we don't see him in Scripture through the years that he was growing closer and closer to Christ all the time. The author used this phrase to describe John.

"He traded ambition for affection."

In our culture we embrace ambition. We honor it. But many times our ambitions are self rewarding. We climb the ladder, work really hard and in the end we may have a bigger paycheck or bigger title. I was heading down this track a few years ago when a great opportunity came across my lap that would of given me both. The more ambitious I got, the less affectionate I became with those around me. Friends, family and God. I adopted a new goal after that. That I wanted to become "nothing" as Christ became "nothing."

Who, being in very nature£ God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7 but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature£ of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

Nothing-ness is not an easy place to be but it is liberating when you can get there. There is a great power in being nothing. First, since your not trying to build yourself up, no one can really cut you down. And you are open for God's everything to flow through you. Having no confidence in the flesh means that you are allowing confidence in GOD to ingnite and empower your life. Swapping your power for God's. Not a bad trade-off.

My ambition needs to be Christ, alone. Then, I believe, everything else will fall into place.

A new Opus

1.On the last post I mentioned that there was a cough choir in my house singing beautiful renditions from....the Sound of Mucus. (I know, corny) Well, the second movement just started. We were finally getting over it when something new came. Today we all went to the doctor. Anna is now on an antibiotic for and ear infection, Johnny and I tested positive for strep and little Leah has a high fever that the doctors don't know what's causing it. So we're all down for the count except for Tarah and David. My poor wife. She just wants all of this to end.

2. This weekend, (before I got sick again) I had the privilege of ministering to people from my home church in Wausau, WI. It was humbling and a treat to see that people would give up an evening to come experience the program. Pastor Jim Engle, whom I know from Camp Forest Springs, is now their new pastor. The program was called "Dinner and a Feast." It consisted of him memorizing Phillipians, reciting, with breaks and me filling the breaks singing songs that complimented the text. I know that Jim has memorized other books as well. I was challenged to begin the process of hiding more of God's Word in my heart. On a side note, it was weird to see a lot of my friends parents and hearing that most of them are retiring. Time just keep ticking away. I heard a Doctor-Christian recenlty who studies Meta Physics talk about time and how God exists outside of it. He even said that we might shocked that when we get to heaven after we die, that everyone is entering heaven at the same time. Example, my dad has been dead for almost 17 years. I tend to think that he has been in heaven 17 years when we might be entering heaven at the same time. Not sure it it's true, but it's fun to think about.

3. I want to end this blog talking about Johnny, my 5 year old. All my kids warm my heart but this kid has a bit more warming power. He loves to snuggle with me. My other kids to as well, but they don't last long. They are too squirmy. Johnny feeds off of it. He is very physical, like his daddy. Many a night when I tuck them into bed, he says, "Daddy, Snuggle!" And I make my way over and as I start to get on his bed, he starts giggling. I asked him the other day,

"Johnny, is there ever going to be a day when you don't want to snuggle with me anymore?"

His eyes start to fill up with tears.

"No daddy."

I know there will be so I try to get as much as I can.

Blog AWOL

I'm going to try to be more current with this blog. I have found that many items that I would want to write about probably aren't appropriate for public consumption. The other reason for my being blog AWOL is pure laziness. But I'm going to try to kick myself in the backside and try to be more consistent.


1. This last week there has been a "cough choir" in my house. I can't tell what opus they are trying to sing but they all have their parts and are performing them well. Yes, the croopy cruds have hit the Hoffland household and it seems to have put us back a bit. Of course, as we teach our kids that sharing is good, they showed their love for their papa by handing me a piece of music so I can join them. Now I'm carrying the bass section.

2. Last weekend I went, along with 5 other guys, to a men's conference in Milwaukee, WI. When you are a college student, you hang out with guys a lot. Mainly because you can't be in the girls dorm whcih I'm sure most guys would want to do. Now that I've been married for 10 years, I realized that I don't do as much with guys.. In fact, most married men that I know now spend quite a bit of time at home with their families, which is probably where we are supposed to be anyhow. All that to say, I really enjoyed the short trip to Milwaukee. When guys start to talk, you realize that we all basically deal with the same things but don't tend to share it much in public. In fact, me being an open person have found that I slowly have become more closed off than I used to. In conclusion, the conference was good but the jewel of the weekend was the 3 1/2 hour drive there and back with "the guys."

3. As you have probably read from other posts, I'm a Netflicker. We recently had cable television yanked from Rib Lake so now we have been reduced to 4 channels. (channel surfing is rather quick) Of course since then, we have been inundated with phone calls from Satellite companies to sign up for their latest and greatest deal. We have tossed it around a bit but have settled for right now on not getting it. Mainly for 2 reasons. One is that our kids are actually doing other things besides spending their entire morning in front of Nickelodeon, which I do enjoy. Reason # 2 is that I don't want 60 plus channels of nothingness. I hear that a bill is in Congress right now to see if consumers can actually pick and choose what stations they want from cable and satellite companies. If this bill goes through, I might become a subscriber. I could see myself getting picking a few faves like Discovery and Nickelodeon and letting VH1 and the home shopping network fall to the wayside. Anyways, all that to say that we have decided to put our spending money into Netflicks. I just watched the entire 1st season of 24. I still put LOST on my #1 list as far as TV shows go but 24 is now a close second. In fact, I think that they are the only 2 shows I watch now. What I really enjoyed abot 24 besides the action and writing was that they weren't aftraid of writing characters that actually have morals and heart. I highly recommend it.

4. On a spiritual note, I was humbled yesterday. I'm not going tell you the what, where and how's but I believe God allowed it. As I put myself under the microscope, it's amazing to me how my own heart can be subtly inunndated with pride. It's almost like I'm 2 people. One is horrified by the pride while the other embraces it like a forbidden lover. God has a way of gently keeping me in check. When the humbling occurs, I just have to keep my mouth shut and nod, agreeing that it is a good thing.

My Hollywood Ramble

My wife and I watched a little of the Golden Globes last night and I didn't' know what to think. Many of the awards went to tv shows and movies that either had homosexuality tied to it or some other debauchery that I find myself not getting too excited about. My sister-in-law saw Brokeback Mountain and she stated that it was a boring movie. So, with the fact that it won a number of Golden Globes, it either means that boring to some is exhilirating for others or you have the other conclusion.
It's a political agenda.
It almost seems that if we take what some consider the "un-speakable" and put it on the silver screen it warrants a label of high-achievement. Some probably have no problem just writing Hollywood off and not ever investing it what it has to offer. I'm slowly getting to that point. However, being a person who enjoys the arts, it's hard to completely dissect myself from the Film world. I enjoy the creative process and I enjoy creative people. But sometimes I wonder if we have been seduced by the dark side of the force. Peter Jackson just spent over $200,000,000 to make a movie about a giant ape. I saw King Kong and I somewhat enjoyed it's special effects and all, but as I was driving home I said to my friend, "What was point of that movie?" And $200 million is a few million short of what Bill Gates donated this year for hunger relief. The seduction for me goes back to when I was a kid. I remember going to see movies like Star Wars and Superman on the big screen. The smell of popcorn, walking down dark hallways with flashing lights on the floor, previews of other great movies to come, the rousing music and that giant screen that came to life. Every kid loves a good movie. It's escapism at it's finest. However, it's also a platform for ideas and world views. When studying theater in college, we were taught that the greatest affector of emotions is music with drama being a close second. You put them together and "Walla!" you have a very powerful agent that can be used for good or for ill. (Hollywood knows what they are doing.) I guess that's where the rub is. This whole definition of what is good and what is evil. Most of Hollywood would see Christians and those of a religious bent as evil and intolerant. I'd have to say, there is some truth in that. Self-righteousness is as evil as any sin and it is easy for those who claim to have truth on their side to have a resemblance to the "Church Lady" and point fingers and call shame down from heaven. However, we have gotten to a point in our culture that truth is no longer exclusive. Logically, truth has to be exclusive in order to exist but our culture has decided to go for love and acceptance at the cost of truth. In our society, we tend to respect people who search for truth but have a disdain for those who claim to have found it. In my opinion, love cannot exist at the cost of truth. They are 2 halves of the same whole.
So what do we do about movies and anything else that our media puts out? Well, we can't expect righteousness to come from an un-righteouss world. So those of us that would be shocked by what Hollywood is putting out needs to pull their head out of the sand and face reality. We, as Christians, need to be salt and light. Light shines where it doesn't want to be shone. But it shines with truth and love. Rememer, Jesus hung out with sinners, but He did not sin. He was not a chameleon that changed His colors in reference to who He was with. But He loved them. He came to seek and save those who were lost. He came for what the religious would consider the disgusting filth of the world. He did not come for those who considered themselves "righteous." In their minds, they didn't need Him.
We definitely need to be careful of what we digest from this world. However, let's not forsake it. Besides, God didn't.

5

1. We have had a fairly normal 2 weeks since our hospital stay. It's amazing all you begin to find out about epillipsy once someone in your family is diagnosed with it. One is that there are a plethera of medications out there that a person can take. We had to take Anna in yesterday to the clinic to get hers changed because she was having an allergic reaction to the first one. What a day. We hauled the whole family through the clinic to 3 different departments. What we thought would be a quick trek ended up being 4 plus hours. For the most part the kids did ok. Except when the 2 boys wanted to scale the Beanie Baby display in the pediatric neurology ward. Those little stuffed buddies behind the locked plexiglass was just too much of a temptation. Anna did pretty well, except for the end when they had to draw blood again. She's becoming a vet by now. They took a lot this time. The poor girl slept all the way home.

2. I've been listening to downloads of Ravi Zacharias who is one of the leading apologists living today. This man is brilliant. He was born in India, raised a Hindu, became a Christian as a college student and is now invited to many top universities all over the world to speak and defend Christianity. There are Q and A's sessions from Harvard Veritas, as aan example, that you can listen to on-line. www.rzim.com is the site. Click on the "Radio" link and then archives. Lot's of gems there. I highly recommend.

3. My wife and I are getting a kick out of watching the "ice fishing village" that has erupted on the lake in front of our house. These grown men sitting on a bucket, staring at a hole in the ice is just cracking us up. The natives will defend it by saying, "there's a lot of perch in there." I believe it and I bet it's great eating as well. I just can't see myself spending my day staring at ice. Now, on the other hand, I see a lot of trucks out there along with 4-wheelers and snowmobiles. Now, I can see myself maybe putting my line in the water and then buzzing around the lake on a snowmobile. I had the privilege of driving one the other night at my friend's house. He lives on 40 acres out in the country and, I tell you, to be on a snowmobile in the middle of a field on a beautiful night ..there's something magical about it. Other than that, I get my amusement by watching the display out my front window.

4. I recieved an ipod for Christmas. Whoo Hooo! I love this little treasure. My wife and I also received one of those memory foam mattresses for the top of the bed. This has become a blessing and a curse. The blessing is obviouss, the curse is you don't want to get out of bed. It just holds you in there. You CANNOT get out!

5. For my last recent thought, I've started preparing for a number of speaking engagements that I have coming up. One of the subjects that I have thought about is No Other God. I realize once again how easy it is to let my heart be deceived into trying to be fulfilled by other things besides the One True God. Even though I know better. The analogy I have been thinking about is wrapped presents. Wrapping paper has got to be one of the best, most powerful products out there on the market today. It's fairly cheap, however, you can take anything, let's say a rock, and wrap it in beautiful paper and put a bow on it and you'll have people, mainly kids, wanting it. They open it, find out it's a rock, then if you wrapped it again, you could basically re-play it all again. It's the paper! It's a deception. But I fall for it.

Emotional Week

Well, Anna has been home now for 2 days and we've been working with her dosage of medicine. At full dose, she couldn't walk or even stand very well. At too low of dosage, she starts to have the seizure symptoms again, just a bit muted. I think we're narrowing it down now. Thanks to all of you that have prayed for us. We really appreciate it.

Anna Update: Please continue to pray.

Anna had her MRI today and it came back normal. This is good news since their weren't any tumors, disease or abnormalities in her brain. She is on a medication to stop the seizures. We brought her home tonight. She is still a bit wobbly and loopy from her sedation this afternoon. Please pray that her loopiness goes away and that the medication would work well. We might need to take her to the clinic tomorrow for blood work if her loopiness goes away. I don't know who reads this but let me know if you can in the comment section. Thanks.

Alert! Please pray for my Anna.

For all those who read this, please pray. We brought our little 3 yr old, Anna Grace, to the ER last night because she was having seizures. She is now having an EEG and tomorrow an MRI done. Our prayer is that might not find anything too alarming. Having an IV and electrodes on your head as a 3 year old is a hard deal. Pray for her that she will find some joy and excitement in all of the attention.

Thank You!

Tis the season

Yeah, it's been a bit. I have 4 kids. Jerry Seinfeld says having 3 or more kids is like running the blender with the top off. Quite insightful.

1. Tarah and I celebrated our 10th anniversary this last week. We have a 1 month old newborn at home that needs to be nursed every 1 1/2 hours. So we couldn't do much to celebrate. However, what we did was meaningful. Tarah arranged a babysitter to come over while we went to a neighbor's house (that was gone on vacation) and she made me dinner over there. She did get the neighbor's permission, in case you wondered. It was great. I had made her a memorabia book that symbolically covered our last decade together. She cried. You know when you've done good, as a man, when your wife cries. Actually, going through all of the pictures and letters that I had written her while we were dating, I have to admit, it was quite an emotional time for me as well. In the last 10 years we have had 4 kids. As we ate and looked at the book, it didn't take us long to miss these little gems called our kids and soon we were back home again. We sent the sitter away and enjoyed a relaxing evening sitting in the living room next to the Christmas tree while the kids played and got in and out of our laps periodically. It was a sweet time. My wife is amazing. Guys, there is something in God's satchel of Grace that allows these women to love us ugly mugs. We all need to pat our cursed midsections and be thankful.

2. It's Christmas time and you have probably gotten wind of this supposedely "War on Christmas" that's been going on in our Country. I, myself, have tried to keep up to date with it by watching Bill O'Reilly's video clips on the internet. I haven't watched much of him in the past since we don't have Fox news, however, I find his manner interesting. Aside from that, this whole Christmas debacle has perplexed me. Before I extrpolate, let me give a war update by stating that there have been some victories lately for Christmas with examples of stores now saying "Merry Christmas" that weren't and "Holiday Trees" now being called "Christmas Trees" in the public square and so on. The perplexing part of all of this is that even the people fighting for Christmas probably have no clue what it really is all about. If we are talking about Christmas trees and mistletoe and all of that jazz, we need to state that these have nothing to do with the Christ Child in the least. In fact, they originate with pagan rituals. These along with, the date of Christmas, wreaths, lights, etc...... They are connected with the Winter Solstice and the Catholic church adopted the date along with the traditions of the Solstice and turned it into a date that celebrates Christ's birth. Now, I don't have anything wrong with the whole" what man meant for evil, God can use for good." philosophy. (Attn to a previous post about Halloween) However, I think that people need to realize that traditions and holidays are not sacred in themselves. And, also, that these things that we do on or around December 25th cannot and does not change a human heart. I am not against tradition or holidays but the warm feeling that comes from putting lights up on the house, setting up the tree, wrapping the presents and sipping eggnog, can do nothing for the eternal nature of a person. Only the Christ-child can. So if we are trying to fight for Christmas, let's fight for the freedom of celebrating the one person that can do major good for the human soul. It's not the tree or the date. It's the child. I know that child and He has and is changning my heart because I need it. I need a Savior.
Have a Great Christmas everybody.

Royalty Inn

Comfort.
Whatever can usurp this goal needs to be very powerful because to many (and I include myself in that "many), this is the end of all things. To be comfortable. True Comfort includes feelings of security, absence of pain, emotional catharsis..... I recently spent a night in a hotel. I do this often as it is one of the blessings/curses of having a traveling ministry. As I enter the room I tend to always heave this big sigh of relief. I see the pillows stationed on the bed with a little welcome card from the housekeeper. As I use the restroom, I spot the little lotions and shampoos placed daintily on the handtowel that's been folded like a fluffy seashell. I spy the laminated card display of all the hotel ammenities available on the classic wooden desk. And the most prized item of all, the remote control within arm's reach of everything.
My little kingdom.
There is something about a hotel that makes people feel rich when they first get there. Finally, all the desirous things at their disposal.
"I deserve this."
For me, I usually put on my pajamas right away and then pick up the phone book to see if there are any good restaurants in the area that deliver. "CHINA PALACE" Sweet and Sour Chicken (.a common staple) with 2 Diet Cokes! A hot meal, cold soda, pajamas on, remote control in hand.....a happy King.
As a s side note, Jerry Seinfeld once said that guys don't care what's on television, they just want to know what ELSE is on. This is the micro-excercise of "the grass is greener" game that all men play. Women love to nest. Whatever it is, just nest and invest. Find out what it's about before you flip again. Guys have and instinct of what to invest in. On television, there aint a whole lot. (Just recently we got rid of our cable tv. Flipping has now reduced itself to 4 channels. "Hey, didn't I just see that guy pulling pig skulls out of chocolate with his teeth a second ago?"
After a full tummy, a relaxed body, and an hour of being committed to my lack of program investment, something shakes my little kingdom like a black, creeping, fire breathing beast.
Lonliness.
The curse part. I'm become frightened to turn the TV off.
When I do, the silence un-nerves me. I crave the sound of my little ones breathing deeply in the next room, the movement of my wife as she gets up to feed our new baby, the familiar clinking of the radiators as the heat kicks on in my home. The sounds of comfort.
A couple of years ago at the Christian Camp I work at, we had the theme "It's not about me, it's all about Him!" It's not about me. This may sound like the same song I've sung before in ohter posts, but it's a powerful truth. When it's about me, I am alone.
I don't want to be alone.
At this point of the night, this King begins to feel reduced to a scared knave. I usually pull out my Bible, read some and then begin to pray. I pray for my family and friends. And I pray that God would protect me from...me and the deceptions that I easily fall into. I thank Him for all that He has done in my life, for the Grace and Mercy that I don't deserve and for the privilege of being a part of His ministry. I keep thanking Him while I turn out the light and lay my head down and hope for a quick and peacful night.
.
It's usually at this point I wish that I had brought my feather pillow from home. :)

Welcome, Leah Joy Hoffland!

It's done! Tarah and I went in on Monday afternoon about 4:30 PM and at 10:00PM Leah Joy was born! Tarah did great..the best delivery yet. Leah was 7 pds, 31/2 ounces and 20 inches long. I haven't figured out how to do the whole picture thing on here yet, but if I do, I will post a pic of her. After watching the whole ordeal, it's astounding to me that people actually still think this all happened by time and chance. I was asking my wife, "How do they breathe in there?"
"They don't. They get all their oxygen through the umbilical cord and it goes directly to their blood. There's a valve that keeps it going to the lungs. They don't even use their lungs at all until they are born. Then, when they take that breath, the valve opens never to close again."
So if this was all developed by chance, did all those babies suffocate until that valve thing evolved? Ok, I'll get off of my soap box now. I'm just amazed at God's creation.
We all came home yesterday and had a fairly ok night, my wife was up a bit in the early morning hours feeding the little bugger. The other kids have really taken to her. Thanks for all the prayers!

Aaaarrggggghhhh!

Ok. This is the calmest moment I've had all day. My amazing, cute, little wife was due today to have our 4th child. Nothing has happened and I think we both are losing our minds. It seems like the rest of this post should just kind of trail off into jibberishiaonlfkdajldfasdjfasdhfksjdnfsdfjala. That's about the extent of my brain power right now. The real victims, (if there are any) are my other 3 kids. Tarah and I feel so much pressure to get things done before the baby comes that the other 3 are kind of left to themselves to entertain each other which lasts about a whole of 15 minutes before one of them is screaming un-intelligible, child-like profanities at another. The big mystery is why we think everything has to be done before this baby comes ....as if time will stop. Regardless of the insanity of our motives, it's been a crazy week. To top that off, I feel like I've gained weight right along side my wife. I don't understand why I just can't lay on a table beside here and plop out the extra 10 pounds I have put on during the last 2 years. (OK, wipe that image from your mind before you need therapy.)
For those out there that have been praying for us, Thanks!

cling to what is good.

On Sunday, I took my 3 kids Trick or Treating. When I was little, there never seemed to be an issue about Christians trick or treating. I never felt like, when I was going out there, that I was worshipping Satan by doing so. However, in this day, the separation of church and state has gone to the other extreme and has pulled Christians out of the world all together. My wife and I wrestled with the idea for a couple of years of whether we should take the kids trick or treating. With our knowledge of the beginning of Halloween and the whole pagan tradition, we wanted to be sensitive to God's command to abhor what is evil. However, we also realized that Christmas traditions are steeped in almost as much pagan ritual as Halloween including the tree, the mistletoe and even the date. The church later took the pagan date of December 25 and decided to use it as a day to celebrate Christmas. We came to the conclusion that as much as we are not being "pagan" by putting pretty lights on a tree in our house, we are not being pagan by walking around the neighborhood in a silly costume asking for free candy. So last year was the first year for our trick or treating trek. The outcome was amazing. We actually saw more community people in one evening then we saw in the previous 5 years we lived in Rib Lake. The kids had fun seeing other kids in their costumes and I think, as whole, we actually built a samll bridge to our community, not to mention the load of candy we acquired. Overall, it was a positive expericence. My 5 yr old, Johnny, asked me the other day what Halloween meant. I carefully told him that the at the beginning of Halloween there was a lot of bad stuff and that by us trick or treating, we were not celebrating that bad stuff. We were going for 3 reasons. To dress up cool, to get candy, and to get to know the community and hopefully spread a little more of Jesus light in it. He seemed to accept that. In fact, when my mom told hm "Happy Halloween!" He said, "No. It's Happy Trick or Treating."
I think so many times we, as Christians, twist the command to be "in the world but not of it" to "live next to the world and hope that the world will wish for what you have." There is no way that we can share God's light unless we are willing to go out there where they are. As Jesus ministered to the woman at the community watering hole, it made me wonder why we shouldn't go to the local watering holes to be a light and offer living water to those who are scared and thirsty. Jesus himself was mistaken as a drunkard and a glutton becasue he was with the "sinners." It was the religious of the day that struggled with it. Nothing has changed much since then. The imperative, however is this...Jesus did it without sinning. That is something to always keep in mind. . As I was discussing this to a friend, he said, "Where do you draw the line? Do you go to a strip club to minister?" I said, I couldn't because I would proabably sin. Jesus was also led by the Spirit, not an agenda of His own. In order to go, I have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading. That might be to enter a place or to also leave a place when the Spirit tells me too. I have not yet braved this endeavor yet. But I think it's worth the time to talk about it as Christians and to encourage us to have such a passion for lost souls that we would be available to be led into the dark places of this world to find them.

NEXT TO A SLEEPING BOY

This weekend I took my son, David, who is 7, on a Father/Son Retreat. My wife and I weren't sure it was going to be a smart thing to do. You see, I was also doing the music and worship leading at it as well. Overall, we had a very memorable time. It was probably the first time in many months that David and I have had such in-seperable time together. The first night as we were getting ready for bed he looks at me and says, "Daddy, I love you so much! I'm so glad to be here with you."
I melted into the bed after that.
However that is not the main subject of my post.
As we drove home yesterday, the poor tyke slept most of the way. I think the weekend peetered him out pretty good.
This quiet drive gave me a chance to think. I travel quite a bit which gives me a lot of thinking time.

I was thinking about ART and SPORTS. I have many friends, across the country, who are involved with Art in one form or another. When I was growing up in Northern Wisconsin, Art was basically an afterthought to many people my age. Most kids were respected and liked if they were either in sports or something connected to sports. Theater, Art , music were all considered extra-curricular activities that were good for those who weren't good enough to tackle, wrestle, dribble, or slapshot. I, myself, was a wrestler for 7 years throughout grade school and Jr High. I mainly did this so I could be like my older brother who went on to wrestle in Nationals at the High school level. It wasn't until my Jr. year that I realized it wasn't for me. I completely quit sports all together and poured myself into music and theater. There was no turning back. Now I am 34 and it seems like the Arts have made quite a stride in the teen culture since my own adolescence. We have quite a few high school kids coming to the Camp I work at and it seems that Art, in some ways, has surpassed sports as far as numbers of kids that are involved. There are more poems being written, more bands being formed, more paintings being painted, etc....This camp, however, is located in small town Northern Wisconsin where, to the locals, sports is still the religion of the day.
Before I drove home yesterday from the retreat, I was able to watch the 2nd half of the Packer game where the Vikings bitterly won with a field goal with only 2 seconds left on the clock.
The statistics in Wisconsin are that domestic abuse goes up after a Packer loss.
Which brings me to my point.

It's amazing to me the things in life that we make an "end in themselves". I am obviously thinking of 2 areas, Sports and Art.
I am a Christian. I believe in the passage in Colossians that says .."For by him (Jesus) all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."
This tells me that there is only one entity that has an end in itself, God. Therefore, everything else, in order to have meaning, has to somehow come back to Him. Not that it has to be explained as such but in truth and content, it has to correlate with His essence and truth. I know this is controversial with some, however, it is the only concept that makes sense to me. I have come to the conclusion (on paper) that there is no worth in anything unless it eventually points back to Christ and truth. (which are one and the same) The contradiction of that would be that Jesus has His own little compartment that He stays in called religion and that it's only one facet of many this life has to offer. I know many people who live this way. Sunday is good for religion but they don't think it should affect the rest of their life. That completely go against the idea that He is before all things and that in Him all things hold together.
So here's the rub. When I see myself not living it. Irecently read a passage out of Chronicles about an 8 year old King of Israel deciding to follow God and of how he cleansed the land of the Asherah poles and High places of idol worship. He got rid of the things that people found as and end in themselves besides God. Many kings were unwilling to do such things because the culture of the day wouldn't let them.
My conclusion, Art is goodif not great thing. Sports are good, if not a great thing. But they are not ends in themselves. Only gods can be and they are not gods. I pray that the one true God will continue to give me the wisdom to get rid of the High places in my life.
As I glance over at my son, sleeping next to me in the passenger seat with his favorite little blanket wrapped around his lap and his favorite stuffed dog in his arms, I can't help but be embraced by meaning. And it leads me to worship.

Let me add an important annendum. I am not promoting or excusing lack of quality in Art and/or un-inspired creativity. There is art out there that is not excellent and some of it even is conncected to God and Jesus. I know that God knows the heart of an individual and that He might be pleased if it is the best they can do. But most of the time, bad art is influenced by agendas that, in my book, acoomplish very little.

LOST

What an intriguing show! It's been a long time since I was hooked on something of this nature. There are just so many mysteries and the characters are so interesting! I'm not sure which one is my favorite. Of course my wife likes Sawyer, as does every woman. He's the total anit-hero. Common sense hard butt with a carefully concealed tender side. I like him a lot as well. But I think my favorite is John Locke. There's a lot of transparency with him. He's very child-like in his fatih. Of course, we're not sure what his faith is in quite yet. Quick blog, here. If you don't watch the show, go get season 1 on DVD and enjoy the ride. If you like it, comment back and tell me your favorite character.

Phooey on Moth and Rust!

I sat in my Lazy Boy this evening, folding a mound of clothes, watching the Packers lose again while my wife lays on the couch nearby feeling the discomforts of being 8 months pregnant. Folding clothes is the least I can do for her in the state she is in. She finally makes her way to our bedroom which is across the hall while my 3 year old daughter, Anna, makes her way quietly down to the TV room to see what Daddy is doing. I warn her to whisper because if mom catches her up she might get in trouble. She sits on my lap and watches with me as the Packers actually do lose even after a phenomimal 4th quarter. My daughter tenderly plays with the buttons of my shirt and I realize, in a forlorn way, that nothing on this earth is forever.
Oh, I've known that for a long time. Nothing real profound there. I was taught it in Sunday School when I was a wee Hoff. I was warned not to invest in too many things where "moth and rust" might destroy. But there are moments when it hauntingly becomes a reality.
My favorite quarterback, that I have watched play football for almost 14 years, will now probably hang it up this next year minus the flames of glory from a winning season. (However if he continues to play like he did in the the last 7 minutes tonight, who knows.)
I see the big brown eyes of the little girl on my lap and I see no wrinkles. But someday, she too will grow old and begin to age. She might experience heart break and sadness. She might have times of feeling alone..and I will not be there to help her.

You're probably thinking, "Dude, take your medication." No, I'm allright and I don't mean to depress anyone. It's these moments that I am forced to put things into perspective. There is only one constant and that is God and I have to stay in tune with Him. That is my greatest hope on this green and blue ball hanging out in the middle of nowhere. Things are only new for a while here but someday I am going to live in a place where nothing will grow old or decay and where I will never be lonely.
For those of you that read this blog and pray, please pray for my wife as she delivers Hoffland #4. Her pregnancy experiences thus far have all had their challenges. We are thankful for the little ones God has given us. Thanks.

DELINQUENT!!

Yeah, I know. For those 2 of of you out there that are living and dying but what gets put on this blog, I'm sorry. I have been "blog-slackin" as my friend Jeremy Bear says. I look at his blogger and the guy has honkin 50 different subjects that takes me an hour to look at...

...yeah I need a life too.

So here goes....I'm going to try to make up for it by filling you in on all the gold jewels of Hoff's life.

1. I have 4 kids. Main reason for deliquency, I can tell you that. One of them is still in his moving apartment called my wife's tummy which by the way is getting more and more un-comfortable by the second. She still is carries it very well. Nov 11 is the big day! We know it's a girl...or as my boys used to call it....a grill.

2. My boys recently got batman and superman halloween costumes and have been wearing them around the house. As a kid I used to hate the fact that the superhero costumes looked nothing like the real thing. I'm starting to think that maybe I like the kid version better. I got a jolt of joy yesterday when one son referred to the other as .."hey, Batman?"

3. To the disdain of some, my 2 boys are homeschooling right now. For right now, I happen to think it is pretty cool. One reason is that they are learining a TON! They both know all of their states of the US and are both reading and doing addition and subtration. Did I mention that they are in Kindergarten and 1st grade? They just learned their Canadian provinces yesterday for the first time. I could of said Quebec and maybe Northwest Territories...and of course Prince Edward Island because of Anne of Green Gables, my wife's favorite movies as a kid. All-to-say, my kids are doing well with the school thing. Mainly because of my wife who is the Juila Childs of homeschool teaching. I don't know if we will homeschool their whole Academic career, but it seems to work well for now.

3 1/2. The other day I had to actually teach because my wife was out. The page for my son Johnny had 6 squares with words at the bottom of each square. He had to figure out the word, and then draw a picture of what the word was. Example: car= draws a car.
Well, I was working with my other child while I heard him souding out the words in my left ear. I looked at his page and saw all these beautiful pictures drawn in all of these squares. Then I see a circle with a line down the middle over the word 'bus."

"Johnny, what is this?"

"butts"

"Johnny, the word is "bus."

"Oh." starts to erase

"NO! Leave it. I want mom to see it."

The joys of homeschooling


4. I hit a stop-sign the other day. I was eating and driving at the same time and side-swiped a stop sign..right on Main St. (small towns call their main street...um, Main St.) I felt like a complete doofus. I had to call the Village Hall and tell them that I hit one of their 7 stop signs and that I'd be willing to pay for the damages. They had me sit in that dark room with one light bulb over my head.

"What happened?"

"Well I was turning and I got too close to it."."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"You're gonna get the whole deal unless you sing."

"Allright! I was eating a sandwich."

"We knew it! Book em, Dano."

"NOOOOOooooooooooo!"

I saw the other day that the sign looks fixed. I haven't seen a bill yet.

5. We were all in the van the other day and Johnny, my 5 year old, starts singing an original composition.

"Fatty Daddy Daddy Fatty Fatty Fatty Daddy Daddy"

My wife started to giggle. I know I've kind of let my weight go but I always consoled myself with the fact my wife and kids still like the way I look and that I would eventually get back to excercsing once the kids were in college.
Now I'm giving considerable thought to maybe looking at that tread-mill that sits in our basement. I might even get a sweat wiping the dust off it.
I have to admit, at least it wasn't a song about "poo-poo" which is the favorite ssubject of their song-writing. I wonder if Bob Dylan ever wrote a song about "poo-poo." He probably would of sold a million more albums because whatever the kid likes , the parent likes too.



5. Movies. Sometimes I do get an escape. This summer I saw 2 movies. Batman Begins and Revenge of the Sith. I did rent, not too long ago, a movie called "Sin City." I saw a preview and thought it looked really cool..like a comic book. I watched it and I couldn't believe the violence. Maybe I've just missed the majority of movies out there with violence such as this. Maybe, I'm just a wuss. But I have to admit, I was pretty disturbed. Maybe, it's because having kids, I've softened a bit to the content I allow myself to digest. With a steady diet of Veggie Tales, Thomas the Tank Engine and the occasional Pixar romp becoming the soundtrack of my life, I've somehow let go of that stuff that adults are supposedely be allowed to partake of in this culture. The movie did look cool from an artistic sense, but the rest I had a hard time stomaching. I did however watch "Robots" with my kids yesterday....I enjoyed it. It seems that whatever they like..I seem to like. Must be part of that whole "losing your life" thing.

6.Having kids basically leaves out many other subjects of interest that I could be blogging about, (except, of course, links that I get from reading other people's blogs..thanks, Jer.) There are sometimes a feeling of panic that hits that says, "DUDE! YOU'RE MISSING YOUR WHOLE LIFE BECAUSE YOUR STUCK WITH THESE ADORABLE LEECHES!" However, I then console myself with the fact that I am giving up something. All the greats had to sacrifice. The journey of "dying to self" is a good one from your transccening pousteau (compliments to Dr. Forbes) but when your in the middle of it, it's a battle. I find myself desperately grasping at some inklking of my life unitl I find out it's utterly useless.

"As soon as I think I'm out..they pull me back in." (Machael Coreleone, Godfather 3)

I sometimes eavesdrop on single people talking about how they went rock-climbing and how they were able to excercise and how they all got together for this and that..and I chuckle.

The sounds of those who still have life.

The old proverb, "He who holds onto his life will lose it but He who loses his life, for my sake, will find it", spoken by none other than Jesus Himself, supports my consoling.

Don't get me wrong, I love the little pink cheeked tenants that live in my house. They are the best thing that happened to me. I guess my heart is a complicated, deceitful little bugger. Go figure. The Bible appears to be right again.

I have to sign off now. But for those of you considering having kids, please don't be discouraged by my post. When I see a child laying in his bed with a wrinkled Batman costume on and a mask pulled up over his head, these are moments where you say to yourself, "life is hard sometimes, but it is good."

For those 2 that read, write me so it give me more incentive to write again. Thanks!

matt@matthoffland.com

Going a Little Deeper

When I began this "blog endeavor" I wasn't sure how personal I was supposed to be. I suppose as long as I am not incriminating others, it's ok to share deep-dark secrets of Matt Hoffland. Well, maybe just the shallow-dusk secrets.

I had a dream about my dad last night.

For some of you, your'e saying..." And..?"
To fill you in, my dad's been dead for 16 years. Most of the time I have a hard time even remembering him, his manners, his voice, etc.. I was 17 when he died.

Last night was a "real" dream. I had just found out that he had faked his own death and we were about to have dinner together. A list of questions were forming in my mind. Dreams are interesting little creatures. The power comes in the intensity of emotions that you feel for events that aren't actually happening. I can't even begin to describe what they were last night but they stayed with me when I woke up.

This may sound very cliche to some of you, but the only Dad that I know these days is my Heavenly Father; the one that I can't see, hear or touch, but He's there, He's real, and He hears me.

What a comfort, that I never have to grow to old to have a Dad.

If I Die Before I Eat

I had to throw this little one in. The other day we were at dinner and my son parked his dessert right in front of him.

"Um...David? You have to eat your other stuff first before you eat that."

David studied his desssert then pointed at it.

"I call this a "Now-Eater."

A friend once told me

"It's better to eat the dessert right away in case you die in the middle of your meal. Then, at least, you know that you ate the best part before you went."

I could think of a few other things that could have a "Now-" in front of it.

Daunting yet still blessed!

It seems that my last post was limited to just a title..DAUNTING. This was by accident, however I think still appropriate. I now can extrapolate further on that endeavor. I had the privilege of being the speaker at a Jr. High camp last week for about 200 kids. My responsibilities was to share for 9 sessions. (notice I used the word, "share" not "preach") Only because I consider myself, at this point in my life, a "sharer" much more than a "preacher." Overall, I say it was one of the best weeks of my life. I didn't think I would have this response to it, but I was actually...blessed by the kids. Who knew Jr. Highers could be a blessing.
When I was planning to write this post, I happened to be right in the middle of that week. So, at the time, the task appeared to be DAUNTING. I gave quite a bit of myself away that week. I hope the sacrifice will produce..something.
An old wise man once said a long time ago (last week) that people are the only product we can take with us when we die.
I hope there will be a few more in my suitcase after last week.

Out of the Mouth of Babes

Netflix = Old Fat Albert episodes.
I had to introduce my boys to Fat Al, Ol Weird Harold, Mush Mouth, DumbDonald, Bucky, Bill and good ol Russell.. Funny stuff. I had my 2 boys (and even a few attempts from my 2 yr old girl) walking around the house saying, "Hey, Hey, Hey, let's go out and play."
The other evening we were sitting out on our front porch and one of our neighbors was outside. Johnny, my 5 year old, points at the guy's belly and announces,
"Hey, you look like Fat Albert!"
Embarassed, I quietly call Johnny over.

"Johnny, you don't want to walk around saying people look fat."

"Why not?"

"Because, with some people, it may hurt their feelings. Most people don't want to be fat."

"But Dad, you're fat."

(above the chuckling of my wife) "Well, yes Johnny, but we still don't want to.."

"You're VERY fat!"

"Johnny. I got the point."

At this point, my wife is having trouble breathing she's laughing so hard.

Now my son is pulling up his shirt and sticking out his tummy simulating what dad looks like. My wife is 4 1/2 months pregnant and to pound the final nail into the mystery of my physique, my 2 year old daughter runs up to me and says,
"Daddy, you got a baby in your tummy?"

The ambulance is now on the way to pick up my wife.

It Runs in the Family

Well, I think my super-gland just popped.
I saw the new Batman movie and I was very pleased. previously, when I saw images on the internet of Christian Bale in the new Bat-suit, I almost wanted to laugh. Probably because Joel Shumacher had just drained every ounce of seriousness out of one of my favorite characters called "The Dark Knight". However, I believe that this movie is the best Batman movie made ...yes, even better than Jack Nicholsan's though he did play a great Joker. I had seen the movie Reign of Fire and thought immediately that Chrisian Bale would make a good Batman. He just had that dark brooding essence about him. The only thing that threw me off was his mouth. The dude has a weird mouth. It shows itself especially when he is yelling something while he has his cowl on. I'm like, "Man, look at that mouth!" And he does play the Knight much like an animal vs. a cool guy which Keaton did which I think was a good choice. It was strange and refeshing as well to see Gary Oldman play a good guy that actually has a heart. I enjoyed his subtle performance. Now I have to wait probably 3 years to see the sequel which the ending hints at having the Joker be the villian.
Excuse me while I go and wipe some super-ooze off my 33 year old arm.

Something Sweeter than Revenge

The other day my kids were enjoying themselves on the playground at the camp I work at. There were 2 boys, about the age of 11 or so, sitting on the only 2 tire swings. The 2 boys were actual campers so we like to say that they get first dibs at any equipment or play-thing before a "staff-kid" would be able to use it. My son, Johnny, (5 yrs old) was waiting and watching paitiently to use one of the coveted rubber circles of joy. The 2 older boys, noticing Johnny waiting, would get off and walk a little bit away from them. As Johnny would see them gone, he would then move towards one of them. However, as soon as Johnny would get close, the 2 boys would run back and take them over again causing my son to give out a beautifully pathetic, "Awwwwwww." Immediately, I was washed over with feelings from my chidhood when such a thing happened to me. I swallowed my "bear protecting his son" rage and moseyed on over to address the situation.

"You know what, guys? Feel free to use the tire swings as long as you like. But please, don't tease the little ones here."

No response. However I did not know Johnny was listening.

I had to leave the playground for a moment but as I was coming back, I saw the same villainous activity ensuing against my little boy. Ready this time to do some drop-kicking, I waited till they moved away from the tires again and I myself went up to grab a swing for my boy.

"Here, Johnny. You can use this swing."

Johnny looks over at the boys.

"Are you guys done using it?"

The Super Gland

Well, its happened. My 2 boys (ages 5 and 6) have been indoctrinated into the club of superhero infatuation. I think it's in every young lad...hidden away in a gland somewhere that is just ready to pop and ooze all things super.

It all started with Netflix..this wonderful club that allows you to rent online videos...all you can watch in a month with no late fees. Well, I had to get Batman, The Animated Series volume 1. Well we were watching it last night and Johnny kept piping, "Batman is my favorite!" That's my boy. So, after a good romp in Gotham, it was bathtime for my little crusaders. The boys hopped in with their dinosaurs and began to "do bath." Well, I knew the "super-gene" had popped because my 6 year old hopped out of the tub, put his towel around his neck and proceeded to prance around the hallway.

"David, what are you doing?"

"I'm a super hero."

"Which one are you?"

"I'm....Super Naked Boy."

"Er...chuckle...that's great!"

I didn't dare ask what his super powers were.

Absolute Sith!

Well, it's finally done. I've seen my last Star Wars movie for the first time. The other night my wife and I went to see Revenge of the Sith. I would have to say, I enjoyed almost all of it. The effects were well done, the Saber battles exhilerating, the story tied together rather well to the old trilogy...overall it was a thrilling experience.

If I could narrow my dissapointments down to 2 aspects, it would be 1) It ended. I wanted more. More story...more exposition...more Star Wars. 2) Lucas's philosphy. Maybe some of you didn't catch the little one-liner "Only the Sith think in absolutes." Let's face it, thinking absolutely is not evil. However Lucas thinks so..which in itself doesn't bug me nor surprise me that much. However, it does when he has to throw it into one of the most beloved stories told on screen in this last century. I should probably give him the benefit of the doubt. Anakin was not listening to reason..so in one way, I guess, he was absolutely out of his mind. But knowing the large cultural battle around relative truth, I think there was a very purposeful agenda behind it. Lucas had every right to do it. It's his script, his story, his money. So maybe the fault is mine for attatching myself to something so endearingly.
I don't know. I've seen it twice and I can't wait to buy the DVD .

No Greater Joy!

Tonight I felt the need to sit with my son David and just talk with him while he went to bed. He is 6 and could talk all night.
Tonight he opened the window of his heart to me.
He started asking me questions about God.
"Dad, tell me about God."
As the hour went by, we talked about how God created everything and how God created him and how he was special. One thing led to another and eventually I could see a real earnestness about him.

He told me that he wanted to hear God speak to him. He was confused why he couldn't hear Him.
I tried to explain to him that God doesn't do that like He used to but I told him that I would pray that God would speak to him.
Within a moment of that, He then said to me, out of the blue, with all conviction,
"God wants me to love evertbody. Not just the people I know."
I said, "David, who told you that?"
"Nobody." he said.
"Yes. Somebody did. God did. He spoke to your heart truth and then you said it out loud to me."
He seemed really touched and moved by that. He told me that Jesus' love was inside of his heart and then he prayed..(which he rarely does) He prayed for Jesus to take his sin away and stay in his heart. He then told me that he wants to tell people about Jesus. It was an amazing moment. We bonded like we never have before. The joy is so full in my heart that I can hardly stand it.