Out of the Mouth of Babes

Netflix = Old Fat Albert episodes.
I had to introduce my boys to Fat Al, Ol Weird Harold, Mush Mouth, DumbDonald, Bucky, Bill and good ol Russell.. Funny stuff. I had my 2 boys (and even a few attempts from my 2 yr old girl) walking around the house saying, "Hey, Hey, Hey, let's go out and play."
The other evening we were sitting out on our front porch and one of our neighbors was outside. Johnny, my 5 year old, points at the guy's belly and announces,
"Hey, you look like Fat Albert!"
Embarassed, I quietly call Johnny over.

"Johnny, you don't want to walk around saying people look fat."

"Why not?"

"Because, with some people, it may hurt their feelings. Most people don't want to be fat."

"But Dad, you're fat."

(above the chuckling of my wife) "Well, yes Johnny, but we still don't want to.."

"You're VERY fat!"

"Johnny. I got the point."

At this point, my wife is having trouble breathing she's laughing so hard.

Now my son is pulling up his shirt and sticking out his tummy simulating what dad looks like. My wife is 4 1/2 months pregnant and to pound the final nail into the mystery of my physique, my 2 year old daughter runs up to me and says,
"Daddy, you got a baby in your tummy?"

The ambulance is now on the way to pick up my wife.