Out of the Mouth of Babes

Netflix = Old Fat Albert episodes.
I had to introduce my boys to Fat Al, Ol Weird Harold, Mush Mouth, DumbDonald, Bucky, Bill and good ol Russell.. Funny stuff. I had my 2 boys (and even a few attempts from my 2 yr old girl) walking around the house saying, "Hey, Hey, Hey, let's go out and play."
The other evening we were sitting out on our front porch and one of our neighbors was outside. Johnny, my 5 year old, points at the guy's belly and announces,
"Hey, you look like Fat Albert!"
Embarassed, I quietly call Johnny over.

"Johnny, you don't want to walk around saying people look fat."

"Why not?"

"Because, with some people, it may hurt their feelings. Most people don't want to be fat."

"But Dad, you're fat."

(above the chuckling of my wife) "Well, yes Johnny, but we still don't want to.."

"You're VERY fat!"

"Johnny. I got the point."

At this point, my wife is having trouble breathing she's laughing so hard.

Now my son is pulling up his shirt and sticking out his tummy simulating what dad looks like. My wife is 4 1/2 months pregnant and to pound the final nail into the mystery of my physique, my 2 year old daughter runs up to me and says,
"Daddy, you got a baby in your tummy?"

The ambulance is now on the way to pick up my wife.

It Runs in the Family

Well, I think my super-gland just popped.
I saw the new Batman movie and I was very pleased. previously, when I saw images on the internet of Christian Bale in the new Bat-suit, I almost wanted to laugh. Probably because Joel Shumacher had just drained every ounce of seriousness out of one of my favorite characters called "The Dark Knight". However, I believe that this movie is the best Batman movie made ...yes, even better than Jack Nicholsan's though he did play a great Joker. I had seen the movie Reign of Fire and thought immediately that Chrisian Bale would make a good Batman. He just had that dark brooding essence about him. The only thing that threw me off was his mouth. The dude has a weird mouth. It shows itself especially when he is yelling something while he has his cowl on. I'm like, "Man, look at that mouth!" And he does play the Knight much like an animal vs. a cool guy which Keaton did which I think was a good choice. It was strange and refeshing as well to see Gary Oldman play a good guy that actually has a heart. I enjoyed his subtle performance. Now I have to wait probably 3 years to see the sequel which the ending hints at having the Joker be the villian.
Excuse me while I go and wipe some super-ooze off my 33 year old arm.

Something Sweeter than Revenge

The other day my kids were enjoying themselves on the playground at the camp I work at. There were 2 boys, about the age of 11 or so, sitting on the only 2 tire swings. The 2 boys were actual campers so we like to say that they get first dibs at any equipment or play-thing before a "staff-kid" would be able to use it. My son, Johnny, (5 yrs old) was waiting and watching paitiently to use one of the coveted rubber circles of joy. The 2 older boys, noticing Johnny waiting, would get off and walk a little bit away from them. As Johnny would see them gone, he would then move towards one of them. However, as soon as Johnny would get close, the 2 boys would run back and take them over again causing my son to give out a beautifully pathetic, "Awwwwwww." Immediately, I was washed over with feelings from my chidhood when such a thing happened to me. I swallowed my "bear protecting his son" rage and moseyed on over to address the situation.

"You know what, guys? Feel free to use the tire swings as long as you like. But please, don't tease the little ones here."

No response. However I did not know Johnny was listening.

I had to leave the playground for a moment but as I was coming back, I saw the same villainous activity ensuing against my little boy. Ready this time to do some drop-kicking, I waited till they moved away from the tires again and I myself went up to grab a swing for my boy.

"Here, Johnny. You can use this swing."

Johnny looks over at the boys.

"Are you guys done using it?"

The Super Gland

Well, its happened. My 2 boys (ages 5 and 6) have been indoctrinated into the club of superhero infatuation. I think it's in every young lad...hidden away in a gland somewhere that is just ready to pop and ooze all things super.

It all started with Netflix..this wonderful club that allows you to rent online videos...all you can watch in a month with no late fees. Well, I had to get Batman, The Animated Series volume 1. Well we were watching it last night and Johnny kept piping, "Batman is my favorite!" That's my boy. So, after a good romp in Gotham, it was bathtime for my little crusaders. The boys hopped in with their dinosaurs and began to "do bath." Well, I knew the "super-gene" had popped because my 6 year old hopped out of the tub, put his towel around his neck and proceeded to prance around the hallway.

"David, what are you doing?"

"I'm a super hero."

"Which one are you?"

"I'm....Super Naked Boy."

"Er...chuckle...that's great!"

I didn't dare ask what his super powers were.